Solicitation

by Mouse

After spending several months obsessing about trying to become pregnant, my mind has reached a saturation point in thinking about the actual process. I’ve moved on to how I’ll be getting to point B (as in baby).

In my first pregnancy, I used an obstetrician recommended by a colleague. The obstetrician participated in a group practice, so I also got to know some of the other obstetricians since there was no telling who would be on call when I finally went into labor. Although the appointments were not incredibly long, I was encouraged to ask any question I had and never felt rushed. Other than a minor scare at 6th week, I had no complications and my pregnancy proceeded within all normal ranges.

This practice’s office delivered at one particular hospital in the nearby city, perhaps the nicest one there. Each woman had a private labor and delivery room with attached bathroom, TV, adjustable bed, and a reclining chair. I won’t go into the details here—that would fill a whole other post—but my delivery was more complicated than we were expecting and ended in a forceps delivery.

For the two days my insurance required I stay in the hospital, I shared a room with a woman who was spending four days in the maternity ward after a Caesarean delivery of twins. We had our own bathroom and a shower down the hall (walk right in, no edge to step over). I had a choice of keeping Scooter with me in a portable bassinet or leaving him in the nursery for a while. The nurses knew I wanted to breastfeed and were very helpful with that—there was even a special lactation session given every day or two for mothers to attend with baby and partner. Before leaving, there was a short care session to answer questions and remind us about things like caring for the umbilical stump.

Besides all of the above, Trillian and I were both impressed by the security procedures. Scooter had both a bracelet and anklet that matched mine. Each time a nurse brought Scooter in, we checked my bracelet against his. Trillian also had a matching bracelet. To enter the maternity ward, she had to stop at the locked doors, display the bracelet, and wait for someone to let her in. Anyone leaving with a child was similarly checked.

And while not a necessity, Trillian and I also appreciated the freebies. I’m not referring to the free bag from a formula company (which, yes, we did get, but I don’t want to step into that mess right now). We were encouraged to take anything we wanted from the drawer of the bassinet: extra disposable diapers (which we left because (a) we were going to use cloth at home and (b) the newborn size didn’t provide adequate coverage for our long and skinny guy), the very soft hairbrush, extra alcohol pads for stump care, the small plastic basin for sponge bathing, and probably a couple other little things.

Now I come to my point. Or rather, my plea for help.

Since we no longer live near our old city, we can’t just use our previous experience as a guide for the second pregnancy. We’ve started looking into options here and are trying to figure out our options. Of course, right now, our reading raises as many questions as it answers.

So this is where you come in

Midwife or obstetrician? Where we were in the states, midwives were most often used when one expected to deliver at home or at a birthing center. Because I knew that at least some women in my family had difficult deliveries, I went with an obstetrician and hospital. But from the explanations we’ve had, a midwife seems like a real possibility in Toronto.

Which hospital? I know that the privileges held by my obstetrician or midwife will largely determine this, but I’d like to know some specifics about the downtown hospitals—which will, in turn, influence the first decision.

Share a little or a lot. Just the bare bones or your entire birth story. In the comments or via email (mousenest at gmail dot com). It’s your chance to offer advice to a (hopefully) pregnant woman and actually have it heeded!

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Mouse is: a mother, a lesbian, a graduate student in the Humanities, an American in self-imposed exile, an observer, an introvert, and an expert in Thomas the Tank Engine and Mighty Machines.